Beware Internet Dating

Women in their quest for true love and that secure, happy, cocooned sharing try to take shortcuts. A quick fix, an easy solution and the answer to their prayers they hope comes along in the form of internet dating.

Beware, beware, beware.

True story:

I know of a guy whose profile states that he is a property developer - he worked out that women like entrepreneurs, property sounds richer than it is and he can appear successful. He states he is divorced, with 2 children, looking for a serious relationship.

He selects attractive women in their thirties. He builds their trust and then arranges to meet them - always on a Thursday night.  He takes them out for a drink near where they live, after 3 drinks takes them back to their home, has sex with them, leaves and never contacts them again.

In real life he is a bus driver who has never been married, has no children and is only looking for sex.  He does this every week and has never been turned down - why women fall for this is the subject of another post.

Remember that such sites are an exchange - even genuine guys are putting out their best story.

Everything in life takes time from baking a cake, to building a house so why would you imagine that finding true love should happen in the blink of an eye?

Yes, you can feel instant attraction. However, that could be infatuation not love.

Yes he may be an amazing guy - but it takes time to find out if he is the right guy to be your amazing guy.

If you do feel the urge to go internet dating here is my advice:

1. Goggle whoever you flirt with - check out their social media sites etc before you agree to meet them.
2. If you do have any mutual acquaintances - ask them for a reference - it is your personal safety we are talking about after all.
3.  Arrange to meet them - do not let them pick you up - for a coffee in a public place. Tell someone where you are and ask them to call you 30 minutes into the date - this is to check you are safe and give you an easy escape if you want one.
4. Ask for their business card if you agree to see them again - property developers have one, bus drivers don't - although it is cheap to produce fake cards you can check out company registration etc.

Remember - there are a lot of toads out there disguised as frogs disguised as princes.... keep yourself safe and take time to be selective... you are the prize after all.

Let's Talk about Life

What does your life look like? Is it in perfect harmony like the picture above? If you look deep into the beauty of nature you can feel engulfed by its serene calm - everything unfolds as it should. The beauty is breathtaking.

If you are in a bad place emotionally right now the best thing you can do is move your body and go visit nature - a forest, nature trail, river - anywhere where you can see nature's abundance and striking beauty. Get your boots on and get walking. Nancy Sinatra said it right but she should have been walking in nature in the video!  It is breathtaking if you only take the time to look. This will change your state. I promise it is soo much better then lying on the couch eating a giant bar of galaxy and watching a tear jerker.

Do you know where you are and where you are going?

Are you happy with the way it is unfolding?  Are you steering your ship or are you a passenger in your own life?

Here's a few signposts.

Who do you love?
How much time do you spend with the people you love?
Who do you dislike?
How much time do you spend with these people?
Do you love your job?
Do you love your social life?
Do you love your Spiritual Life?
Do you love your body?
Do you love yourself?
Do you love your hobbies?
Do you love your family?
Do you love what you are learning?

What do you give back?
To those you love?
To your community?
To the world?

How much time do you spend learning new things?
How much time to do spend exploring?
How much time do you spend thinking about the future?
How much time  do spend thinking about the past?
Regretting the past?
Rewriting the past?
Re living the past?
Avoiding the past?

Thing of your life as a wheel with 8 spokes - each represents an important part of your life.  If you only focus on one or two then the wheel won't turn and your life will not flow. In the end it results in breakdown - burn out - mid life crisis - financial ruin - divorce - loneliness - there are many different
traumatic outcomes. These are  signposts - you need to adjust and re balance.

It is possible.  It is possible to be happy, free, fulfilled and to feel blessed. Spending time with nature is a start. Focusing on you and looking inwards is the next step.  Do not expect to do everything alone.  There is lots of help out there. Change can happen very quickly when you decide and commit to it.

How about now? Decide and take the first step... 

Let's Talk about Money

What do you think about money?

Do you enjoy spending it? Are you scared you will run out of it? Do you need to save it and refuse to spend it? Do you deny yourself luxuries but have lots of money in the bank? Or are you a spendaholic? Do you max out your credit cards and avoid answering your phone in case it is a debt collector? Do you have clothes you haven't even worn? Have you lost track of your spending? Do you have a budget? Do you stick to it? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you think it is easier for men to make money?  Do you like money? Do you think it is base? Do you think people who chase money are greedy?

How much money are you worth?

How much money do you want?

How much money do you need?


Your answer to the above 3 questions is very telling and will help me work through your blocks.

How about this one:

Do the poor deserve to be poor? or

Are they exploited by the rich? Which leads to

Do the rich deserve to be rich?

Your beliefs about money affect everything you do in the realm of finance.

We have all heard of lottery winners who receive millions and then less than 10 years after have nothing left. Or, lottery winners who carry on with the day job and leave the money in the bank.

Interestingly a lot of people, if they are asked what they would do if the genie was before them and gave them their dream would only upgrade their life a little - pay off their mortgage, buy a slightly better car, go on an extra holiday.

What about you? What can that genie give you? What is your heart's desire?

What are the three hardest things to do in Life?

Let's Talk About One Night Stands

A one night stand can be an amazing experience if you both want the same thing - a fantastic, exciting night to remember and if the chemistry is right and there is enormous sexual attraction and a connection. Every detail will be imprinted in your mind forever and it will be up there with your top ten life experiences. Anyone who has had one of these knows what I am talking about and it will make a great tale one day when you are sitting around in an old people's home waiting for your carer to take you to the loo.

Sadly most one night stands are not like this and leave both parties feeling bad - the girl because she hopes it will turn into a relationship and the guy because he wants to escape as soon as possible but feels a bit guilty looking into her forlorn, pleading eyes. 

Do women learn their lesson? Do they wake up after the first failure of a one night stand and vow - never again? No they do not.  They keep doing the same thing and keep getting the same result - then they wonder why they can't meet a decent guy and have a loving, committed relationship.

Sometimes they give up on love. they close themselves down and avoid men completely and vow that they don't need or want a man in their life.

Why on earth do women do this to themselves? Because they are looking for love in all the wrong places. Because they mistake sexual attraction for love. Because they mistake infatuation for love. Because they are needy. Because they are lonely.

Enough. We all need to get our hankies out.  Not because you are lonely and needy but because you cannot see what is right in front of your nose and the tragedy of wasting your amazing life on such losers - and let's face it - guys who use women for sex are losers - if they are that desperate they can hook up with a prostitute.

Where is this love?  Inside.  Want to wake up every day with an excited feeling like a child at Christmas?  Want to end your dependency on attention from unsuitable men? Want to feel fabulous?

I can help you with this.

Let's Talk about Men

Do you have a man in your life who completes you and makes you happy?

Or does he let you down - treat you badly and you feel anxious and lonely? Do you fear you will lose him? Do you pretend to be someone you are not to keep him? Do you suppress your emotions? Act nice when you feel angry? Say nothing's wrong when there is? Call him in tears asking why he has not called you?

If any of these apply you are giving away your power. You are placing your happiness in the hands of a man and you are being needy. What a sad place to be - the more needy you become the more you will push him away.

Here is the deal. Only you can make you happy.  If a man is in your life he should make it better not worse. If he does not keep to his word and treat you right - say goodbye and thank the Lord that you did not waste anymore of your precious time on this earth with such a character. Do not lament the loss and imagine you were in love with him. You were looking for someone else to make you feel good and that is not their role.

Here's the sweetener on the deal. Only you can make you feel good.  Once you appreciate how fabulous you are and how wonderful life is you will attract emotionally available men who want to make you happy. It is that simple.

It is not easy but it is simple.

If you want to wake up every morning feeling great and relishing the day ahead whether there is a man in your life or not then call me.

If you need to kick out a love rat then call me now!

If you think you are capable of having a loving relationship then you are capable of sorting this. Call me and I will show you how.

Let's Talk About Food

Lots of women have a problem with food.

Why is that?  Do you know what your relationship with food is all about?  Is it fuel and nourishment for your body or is it something entirely different?  Dare I say that you eat to feel better and then you feel worse.  Then your self critic takes over and you eat to feel better and the whole vicious circle continues.

What do you think of your body?

Write down 5 good things about it.  I can think of 5 amazing things about able-bodied humans straight off:
You can see
You can hear
You can taste
You can feel
You can think

Have you ever considered how truly wonderful that is?  Have you ever felt grateful?. Your body is amazing. Do you think your amazing body that you are thankful for should be looked after? Do you treat this phenomenal thing that you have control of with respect?

Try This:

Don't take your body for granted.
Thank God, the universe, or random chance that you have control of such an amazing living mechanism.
Look at something in front of you - not the TV hopefully but really notice the colours.
Listen to something - your favourite song - the traffic - birds in the sunshine if you are really lucky.
Taste something - I suggest a lemon or a lime really notice the strong flavour
Feel something - a soft cushion or a marble work surface, close your eyes and sink into the sensation of touch.
Now think about the wind blowing a gentle sea breeze across your face and your bare toes sinking into the soft sand and taste the salt in the sea spray and see the sunlight dappling on the water. Fantastic that you can do that - almost as if it is real and happening right now.

Thank your body for being so amazing.
Commit to look after this wonderful phenomenon.
Perhaps you now feel less like eating junk food?
Perhaps you now want to care for and look after this wonderful treasure you have been given?
Perhaps you want to see, feel, hear, touch and think those marvellous sensations for as long as possible?

Just  a thought... but it's a start to changing an abusive relationship with food.

What's your problem?

Women frequently have issues with one of the following:

1. Money

2. Men

3. Weight

Often the core of these is self -belief - or lack of it.

What is this glass ceiling?

I have a friend who is very successful in the City. Years ago when she was a young 19 year old dealer one of the leery males approached her and asked if he could suck her tits.  Her response "F*** OFF MINI DICK!!!" She then had a clear run to the top - noone sexually harassed her again. Or maybe you would prefer to pursue a claim for millions via an employment tribunal? Does it feel good to be a victim? Would such money feel well earnt? Or well deserved - a constant reminder of your suffering and lack... lack of what... gumption? Courage? Ability to control your own life?

What if all the problems are on your side?

What if your perception is what creates your issues?

You can change your perception so this could offer a solution.

But are you comfortable with your problems?

Do you want to earn money? If so - how much are you worth? Everyone knows their own figure in their head, they just need to uncover it. Do you secretly wish you were worth more? Are you angry at people you believe are worth more than you? Or do you not care? Or pretend to not care?

Why do you eat? Have you actually worked this out?

And what of men? WHY DO YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE? Or maybe you don't maybe they are more trouble than they are worth. Being single is great as long as you love yourself. Being in a relationship is great - as long as you love yourself.

Do you - love yourself? If not I can help you uncover why not and change things for the better forever...

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Do you know?

If so great go get it!

If not. Why not? Is that not the key to happiness? The key to life in fact. If you don't know where you want to be you can't get there.  If you don't know what you want you won't recognize it even if you have it. Ever heard of people realizing after their lover left or died how much they loved them? It's like air and water - you take it for granted.

So grab a pen. Don't know where to start?

Here's a great start.

Imagine that time, money and ability were no object.  The genie was before you. You could have and do anything you wanted. What would you do? I was at a Paul McKenna show and he asked that very question and the lady he picked replied "I would clean my house". Really? If I was Paul McKenna I would have sent a team of cleaners to her house and then asked her " Now what do you want?". He would have removed her blocker to happiness and then help her work out what she really wanted.

That is what I help you do. Remove your blocker to happiness and help you get what you really want.