The Little Book of Love

The Little Book of Love is available now on amazon

This book is to help women deal with their anxiety around romantic love. If you have to ask - does he love me? The answer is probably no. This book is to give women inspiration and help them deal with the enigma of love. Love of course begins with self love and capturing this can feel like chasing bubbles if you do not have the necessary beliefs in place. You are a prize worth winning. Do you believe that? This book will help.

Most of the suffering women endure in pursuit of romantic love could be avoided if they listened to their intuition. If something does not feel right there is a reason - and it is not that you are not good enough. Give yourself a break and read this book. Work out that you are worth a whole lot more than you are putting up with. Become a vessel for love and start to attract the right people into your life - end your dance with players and users and open the door to a freer, simpler life where everything flows. It begins and ends with you. 

The Book is divided into 5 sections:

MEN TO AVOID

DOES HE LOVE ME?

DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF?

WHAT IS LOVE?

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN

The first section will tell you what you already know but do not want to face.

The second section will stop you asking yourself senseless questions.

The third question will make you think.

The forth section will reveal light bulb moments.

The fifth section will make you smile. 

I hope this book will help you find love. I hope this book will inspire you to love yourself and to accept no less than the best. We should not settle in love.  So many things in life are mediocre - love should not be one of them.  If you seek passion and comfort, warmth and security - dive in and read this book.

Want to end your struggle with food?

What is the difference between those who have a weight issue and those who don't?

Metabolism?

Love of food?

Big bones?

No...

These can contribute but the real issue - and everyone knows this -

Tis the way you think about food.

What do you think about the picture above?

Beautiful, healthy, delicious, nutritious food?

Would you rather eat this for lunch than a sandwich, packet of crisps, cake, biscuit, soda, chocolate bar, ice cream?

If not you can change the way you think about food.

If you do not think it is possible to prefer the above food to a magnum bar then work is needed on your beliefs.

What if you came to dislike cakes and ice cream?

Imagine that you only eat when your body needs re fuelling and you give your body the best nutrition there is. Imagine that that is the reason you eat.

Imagine no longer thinking about food - relegate it to the realms of toothpaste - it is there is assist your body not fill a void.

People who eat to feel good, who eat to satisfy a craving - be it for sugar, carbs, people who keep eating until they feel uncomfortable - all need to re frame how they think about food.

It is possible - it is fulfilling and it is life changing.

Lots of people are trapped in a prison by food. They spend so much time thinking about losing weight, how fat they are and then they eat a chocolate bar to feel good.  Worse are the "foodies", the gourmet chefs, who prepare feasts and delude themselves that they are superior because of their higher knowledge and appreciation of cooking. 

It is possible to feel sick at the sweet taste of a Magnum.

It is possible to feel full after eating a banana.

It is possible to never have indigestion, constipation, heartburn and all the other physical discomforts that come with overeating.

It is possible to only drink water and love it.

It is possible to love yourself and your body.

How far do you want to go with this?

Do you want to feel exuberant or just a bit better about your body and the way you look?

Maybe you just want to stop hating yourself?

I believe that everyone can be the best version of themselves and feel great.  The starting point is compassion - not just from folks like me but from yourself.  Forgive yourself. You deserve to be great, happy, thrive, and be a vessel for love.  The starting point is to love yourself. 

It takes work but it is possible and it is soo worth it...



 

Looking for true love?

Are you looking for true love?

Probably not because if you were you would have found it. Tis true. Do not react with anger instead reflect.

If you believe that you are looking for true love and it is not in your life then you need to look at what you are doing to block it.

What are your beliefs?

Do you like men? Think they are all bastards? Think they are all players? Think they are only after sex?

Maybe that is the truth of your experience. If so why are you drawing such unsuitable types into your life?

What do you present to the world?

Is love only for beautiful girls like the bride above? Are you not worthy of love? Are you scared of being vulnerable? Are you protecting yourself from pain? Do you believe love is only for fairy tales?

Are you a princess? Do you believe men should worship and adore you? Do you think a relationship is all about getting your needs met?

Would you date you?

Here's a possible scenario:

You date a guy for 5 years.  He is good looking, successful, clever, fun, the sex is great and you keep hoping for more. You want children but he does not. You may even live together. You put your life on hold to suit him. You pass 40 and can no longer have children. He then dumps you and marries a younger version 6 months later and has 2 children within 2 years.

What a bastard? No. What an idiot you are. If you want something and you do not have it in a relationship - end the relationship - sooner rather than later - It will not improve.

Here's another scenario:

You date a guy for 2 years. You split. Six months later you are having regular sex. That is all. You cannot resist. You hope you will get back together.  You won't. You are saving him the costs of a prostitute or the risk of STI if he picks up strangers in bars.

What a user? No. What an idiot you are.

There are lots more possible scenarios of women not finding true love. What runs through them all?  The way the women allow other people to mistreat them - respect begins with self respect.

Lose that and you lose everything.

What do you need to do to fix it? It is a four step process - painful but you can have an ice cream to help you work through it if you want.  The result - happiness, self belief, freedom from anxiety and neediness and- If you want it- true love.

The importance of goals

If you are going to dream... You may aswell dream big... Donald Trump

Great advice.

What do you do with your dreams?

Set goals.

What do you do with your goals?

Action them.

What happens if you don't action them?  Life passes and your dreams fade...

How do you keep track? Write them down.

I had 7 goals in 2012  and I achieved 5 of them.

What happened to the 2 I did not action?

I got diverted.

Are they still on my goals for 2014?

One is and one is not.

The one that is still there needs to be reviewed - is this something I really want to do or not -because I am not making time for it?

So is it OK to change your goals?

Yes but what about your dreams?

It is better to change them than let them fade and die.

You know if you  are living your dream by how happy you are.

Are you in flow?
Does life work for you?
Do you complain a lot?
Do you feel restless and under utilized?
Bored even?

Why do people not live their dreams?

FEAR

Fear of change
fear of failure
Fear of success
fear of the unknown
fear of rejection
Fear, fear, fear - how boring is that?

What about you? What do you want? Who do you want to be? Who do you want in your life? Where do you want to live? How do you want to earn money?

IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT YOU WILL END UP LIVING SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM

It can be easy to work it out. Give yourself some time and space. Ask the 2 obvious questions:
If money was no obstacle what would I do?

If talent was no obstacle and I could be anyone I want what would I do?

If the pleasure zone does not work try the panic mode.

If you lost everything - house, job, friends - everything and you had to start again what would you do?

Not bad enough?
How about-
If you woke up naked in a rice field in China what would you do? 

Still stuck? I can help you work out what you want and how to get there.
.

Men's Hot and Crazy List for Women

This video is funny - do not take offence . It gives an insight into how a lot of men select women - not how women truly are.

Men prefer a good looking woman who is emotionally stable. They do not seek drama and emotional outpourings.  They are very visually stimulated so given this is how they are wired biologically we must stop lamenting their superficiality. They also do not like to spend time focusing on where they are at emotionally. They would like to just enjoy and not spend a lot of time analyzing their feelings. However - they miss the point that it can often be their behavior which ignites the emotional drama. How many times have you seen a man fall apart emotionally when the woman he loves leaves him? They can express they just choose not to.

Women do the same thing but list men on hot and money. I would give him 3 for hot.. any women above a 5 on the hot list who dates him must think he scores above an 8 for money..

Here's the thing - 80% of women are hot and only 20% of men - Paretto's rule applies to this as well as everything else. Which is why soo many women end up with men for their money.  Then the men think the women have gone crazy... but they are not they are just expressing their disappointment.

All connections are a trade - who are we to judge others? It is rare indeed to have equality -Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are both famous, rich and beautiful so this should be a fabulous match of like minded spirits but what else have they got a connection with? Hopefully everything.

My advice to women:

1. Forget about finding a man to make you happy.  He can't. Only you can make you happy.
2. Set boundaries - what behavior are you prepared to put up with?
3. Work out what you want from the connection.
4.  Work out what you need in your life right now.  If it is a loving committed relationship forget the players - if it is a fling - carry on!
5. What do you bring to the table? Where are you on the crazy hot list?

The Little Book of Love...

Coming soon...

Men to avoid

Does he love me?

Do you love yourself?

What is Love?

When a man loves a woman

Extracts from the book...

IF A MAN SAYS,

HE IS TOO BUSY,

 HE IS TOO SHY,

 IT IS TOO EARLY

TOO…

THESE ARE ALL EXCUSES INSTEAD OF SAYING…

I DON’T WANT ANYMORE THAN WE HAVE RIGHT NOW

IF YOU DATE A MAN WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP

 WITH SOMEONE ELSE

 DO NOT EXPECT HIM

 TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOU…

 EVER 

Some of the pain women go through in the name of love is so unnecessary. If you spend even one more minute waiting for a guy to call that is a minute of your precious life that you will never get back.

If you are looking for love then it is important to look in the right places. There are a lot of frogs out there - and it is OK to kiss a few frogs maybe, but don't take it any further than that.

If something does not add up then trust your intuition.  If he does not introduce you to his friends or family there is a reason he wants to keep you out of the rest of his life.  Do not listen to this " I value the time you and I spend together so much and I do not want to share you with anyone else".

True story - I know of a lady who dated a guy for 2 years, holidayed with him, introduced him to all her friends and family, spent New Year with him, and then found out - after 2 years - that he was still living with his wife. How devastating is that? Were there any clues? Plenty. If you ignore your intuition you are setting yourself up for pain and loss. Or as my gorgeous lorry driver cousin said to me when I told him I was breaking up with a guy whom he did not like:

"Give me his address and phone number and I will introduce him to a life of pain..." Fortunately such retribution was not necessary but do not put yourself in a situation where your male relatives need to come to your rescue.

 

The Trouble with Men...

A woman meets a man and what does she think?  Great he is just perfect the way he is... No...  she thinks...

If he got promoted...

If he watched less sport...

If he played less computer games...

If he got rid of his childish ways...

If he stopped eating like a pig...

If he liked shopping...

If he stopped gambling, smoking, drinking...

If, if, if...

Does she tell a guy this? NO WAY! She is too busy playing Stepford Wives. He thinks he's hooked up with a chick that loves action movies and his leery mates, is a gourmet chef and is wild in the bedroom.

Then he marries his dream woman...

Sadly she then turns into herself and starts working on him to change any or all of the above.  He needs to clean house, watch chick flicks, go on a diet, take her shopping, only have sex when there is a full moon and with the lights out or worse - when she is ovulating.

I almost feel sorry for men.

Here's what you can change about men -

1. Their location - you can probably get him to move house, especially if he is still living with his mum or in a shared lad's hovel, sorry pad.

2. Their look - you can buy him clothes and leave them outside the shower for him to grab and put on.

Here's what you can't change about men:

1. Everything else.

Why do women try to recycle men?  Because they have a fantasy Prince in their head and they are brought up on Disney and expect a man to solve all their problems. Lots of women don't like making decisions - they want a man to look after them but they want him to look after them in the way they want not the way he sees it.

When infatuation wears off, if you do not love a man the way he is - leave him and spare you both a lot of pain and aggravation.

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

Be honest with men and yourself. Stop trying to be someone you are not just to catch a man - I promise you he isn't worth it and you are worth so much more than that.  Do not make catching a man your goal - make being happy your goal.

Get happy on your own.  Take responsibility for your own life.  Only have a man in your life who makes you feel good. Only then will you have the space to give love.